


Say it now

by moderndean



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-03
Updated: 2017-08-03
Packaged: 2018-12-10 17:51:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11696805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moderndean/pseuds/moderndean





	Say it now

  
The impala was parked on the side of an old country road, her engine still running as she continued to project heat for the two brothers inside, the stars hiding shyly behind the clouds

 “Please, a-at least tell me why you’re leaving”

 Sam shook his head and over looked at Dean, the bus ticket still in his hand, his eyes red and glossy from the tears that have already made their way down his cheeks. His emotions giving the smooth skin of his cheeks a rosy tint to match the pink on the whites of his hazel eyes.

 “I can’t--”

“What do you mean you can’t?! Dammit Sam, why can’t you just give me an answer?” Dean spoke, the downcast of grief and sadness casting his emotions out, a mix of emptiness settling in his bones

 “Because i-i just can’t”

 Dean leaned forward frustrated, leaning his head against his crossed arms that were perched atop the steering wheel and sighed.

 Sam sighed, his breathing uneven. He could feel the guilt and regret washing over him like a storm. It wasn’t that he wanted to leave, because he’d rather sacrifice himself to hell than leave Dean. He was overwhelmed with himself and how this was affecting Dean.

 Sam’s mouth was spitting out broken words before he even registered that he was talking.

_“I think I’m in love with you and I’m terrified.”_

Dumbfounded he panicked, reaching for the door and started to freak out when the door wouldn’t open. The anxiety and the weight of his words making him think the worse when Dean didn’t look up or respond.

Dean lifted his head and sighed. Completely ignoring Sam, Dean changed the gear and pulled the impala back into the road and started driving again like Sam hadn’t confessed his biggest secret and Sam hadn't told him the reason why he was leaving.

A couple minutes later of being in his thoughts and a deafening silence from Dean, he pulled the car into the bus station parking lot.

“That’s it? I told you what you wanted to know, i said why and now you’re just gonna let me go on like this didn’t happen?” Sam paused, not even looked at Dean, not making an effort to grab his thing and get out of he car.

“Let me guess Dean, you’re gonna pretend like this never happened right? Just gonna bottle it up and ignore it like you do with everything else?”

Dean’s breaths were erratic, his knuckles turning white from the grip on the steering wheel.

“I can’t stop you from going Sam. If this is what you want then go, cause i’m not gonna beg and plead for you to say.”

“What i will say is, you’ve alway known what you want, never once backed down from dad. Hell i wish i-- point is Sam, i’m not going to let this fucked up fantasy of loving you interfere with you chance to get out of this life Sam”

Dean looked over at Sam and meet his gaze for the first time since he’d started crying, Dean’s eyes were red and his freckles stood out against the red in his cheeks. He didn’t want Sam to leave, that was godforbid the last thing he’d ever want.

But things were severely tense with Sam and his father, and this fight in particular had Sam screaming that he’s leaving to college and John had screamed something along the lines of ‘if you go, don’t come back’

So here Dean was, in a bus station in the middle of the night, tears streaming and emptiness filling his skin, letting the only important thing in his life walk away.

As Dean pulled out of the deserted parking lot the moment Sam was out and had his things on the ground beside him. There was only one thing fresh and ringing in his ears while the tears flowed freely down his skin.

_“i’m not going to let this fucked up fantasy of loving you interfere with you chance to get out of this life Sam”_

 


End file.
